YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize