I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize