omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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