someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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