Porn is love you can see.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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