from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize