yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
God I need to hump something, right now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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