No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
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I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just high enough for therapy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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