I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize