shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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