Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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