Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
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you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Vodka?
Forever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
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I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize