...so i touched it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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