Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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