on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
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this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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