He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize