My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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