Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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