There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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