shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just google imaged poop.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
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how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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