at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize