I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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