filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize