Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
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Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
where are my eyebrows?
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