do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize