if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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