so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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