Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize