Barsexuality is the new black.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize