booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
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and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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