Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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