The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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