What a fucking waste of an outfit
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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