what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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