I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize