I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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