Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Hippo gnu deer
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize