That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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