Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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