Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
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Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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