Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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