i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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