her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize