It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
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I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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