cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Pants are for mortals
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Verdict: uncircumcised.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize