i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize