please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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