The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize