Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize