wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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