im having a threesome with these popsicles
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize